KINSEY SICKS IN PUERTO VALLARTA JANUARY 30 to FEBRUARY 11

The Kinsey Sicks are once again bringing their south-of-the-borderline personality disorders to Puerto Vallarta, Mexico for seven shows between January 30 and February 11.

SEVEN SHOWS ONLY!

The Kinseys return to beautiful Club Manana in sunny Puerto Vallarta. For information, visit Manana or just stop by. Club Manana is located on Lazaro Cardenas, between Vallarta Street and Constitucion.

SHOW SCHEDULE:

• Friday, 1/30, 9pm
• Monday, 2/2, 9pm
• Wednesday, 2/4, 9pm
• Friday, 2/6, 9pm
• Saturday, 2/7, 9pm
• Monday, 2/9, 9pm
• Wednesday, 2/11, 9pm

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Pearlene Comes Alive at the Santa Barbara Theater

From a Gay Mecca East, Provincetown MA, comes the wildly demented Drag Artist Pearlene Dubois with her one hour twisted cabaret show. “Twisted” cabaret because she is, or at least her songs are. You’ll swear you’ve heard them before only to realize you’ll never hear them the same way again.

She’s been belting them out for nearly 15 years, not her first appearance in PV either. You may have seen her about ten years ago at the Aria piano lounge which used to be located on Pino Suarez, or perhaps on Sally Jesse Raphael’s the “Sally Show” or Jay Leno (short viniette) or maybe even in Provincetown. You’ll hear parodies of Madona, Willie Nelson, Tammy Wynette, Ricky Martin and more as she shares the highs and lows of her being on the planet.

From New York to Key West, Provincetown to LA and again to Puerto Vallarta, she’s been everywhere. You can see her show at the Santa Barbara Theater at 351 Olas Altas, Thursday through Saturday at 10:30 pm in January with an additional 8 pm show on Fridays. Warning; You may laugh so hard you’ll pee a little.

Of course, any type of glass can be recycled with lime wedges inside. At the recycling plant, the glass is shattered and melted at 1600 degrees, well above the flash point of cerveza-soaked lime wedges.

OK, so this question isn’t totally relevant down here in Mexico where the beer bottles are reused, not recycled.

Can the bottles be reused with wedges inside?

This question was answered rather obliquely late one night by a local bartender who used to work at a Corona Bottling Plant. He said that you will know if a bottle is cleaned and sterilized if it doesn’t have an old lime wedge floating in it before you open it.

And then there’s the old bar bet:

(Indicating an empty Corona with lime wedge in bottom of bottle).

• “I’ll bet you a beer that I can get this lime out of the bottle in less than a second.”
• “No, way – you’re on”.

(Rapidly swing the bottle down towards the floor with the opening facing downwards. The lime slides out like grease through a goose.)

If you’re the type of person who thinks that the way to win this bet is to break the bottle, you have perfect personality traits to hang out in a *real* cantina.

Comedians Take Over Puerto Vallarta!

Puerto Vallarta’s only comedy club located at the San Franciscan Resort has changed it’s name, but, not it’s location! The comedy club’s new name is now “PJ’S COMEDY CLUB” The English speaking comedy club (formerly The San Franciscan Comedy Club) is just another cultural addition added to the entertainment menu in Zona Romantica at the San Franciscan Resort, Calle Pilitas #213 @ Olas Altas, How do you get there? Go south on Calle Olas Altas till the end, and turn left on Pilitas, ½ block on the left is the San Franciscan Resort and PJ’S COMEDY CLUB.

MARCH MOVIE MADNESS ON THE BIG SCREEN
at PJ’s Comedy Club at the San Franciscan Resort

Tuesdays @7:30: Slumdog Millionaire
Wednesdays @7:30: The Reader
Thursdays @7:30: Austrailia
All movies only 7USD
Fridays @8:00: Live Comedy with Dan Nainan (In English)
Saturdays@8:00: Live Comedy with Dan Nainan (In English)
Sundays@8:30: Live Comedy with Dan Dainan (In English)
Comedy Shows 14USD Includes FREE open bar

Our professional stand-up comedians from North America are providing first class entertainment and creating an entire evening of laughter. Not a bad seat in the house, your senses will enjoy the colorful Moroccan style theater decorated in rich colors with comfortable seating, and “state of the art” sound and light system.

Every show during the entire season will kick off with a complementary happy hour at 8:00 PM which will be followed by the main comedy presentation that ends at 10:30, every Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday and Sunday evening from Dec 17th through April 12th. Tickets are sold at Benny’s Place on the beach, your hotel concierge, or by calling and leaving message at 222-6473, ext. 122 or P J’s direct line at 322-174-1751. Or send an email to sanfranciscancomedy1@yahoo.com introductory price is 200 pesos which includes a free bar!

MORE INFORMATION:
CURRENTLY PLAYING: www.sanfranciscanresort.com
ADDRESS: Calle Pilitas #213, Zona Romantica
MYSPACE: http://www.myspace.com/pvcomedy
EMAIL: sanfranciscancomedy1 (at) yahoo.com
TEL: 222 6473 ext 122

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Puerto Vallarta
by Jason Love

Last time in Puerto Vallarta, my friends got so happy on margaritas that the city finally became known as BARTA BARTA! That’s as close as our tongues could get.

The women at Senor Frogs communicated strictly by whistle and cornered us with shots of tequila. After three shots, you were allowed to wipe your mouth on their endowments.

What do you think inspired James Taylor to write a song to Mexico without ever having been there…

“Oooh, Mexico. I’ve never really been, but I’d sure like to go.”

This time I ended up on Vallarta Adventures’ “Jeep Safari,” which takes hopelessly white people into the Sierra Madre jungle to be devoured by arthropods.

Our leader, JC, stood as tall as Charlie Manson but was considerably more funny. From the hood of the truck JC waved a make-believe cattle prod:

“Come on, amigos. MOOOOve.”

En route to Jurassic Park, he held pop quizzes on Mexican history. Did you know that the Mayan calendar is printed on pesos and, if you collect three thousand of them, they add up to a dollar?

Sometimes JC shouted “LEFT” or “RIGHT” to cue us — left or right row — to duck the oncoming trees. When he yelled, “TEQUILA,” everyone hit the floor.

Our escort boasted of eating 15 tortillas per day and showed us his belly, where he stored them. The man was happy with himself in a way that made religion unnecessary.

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